Alissa’s Womanifesto
you say "Feminist" like it's a bad thing
you say "girl" like it's a shame
peaceful, like it's weak
You say "wife" like it means whore
you say "little sister" like it means whipping post
different, like it's wrong
you don't know the secret of bringing a person to the world, from your body, from the deepest secret places of your soul
of being proud of the parts that make up your whole in a cloud of verbal shame
you don't know the untouchable mountain of strength it takes to remain unmoved
when fists are coming down from all sides, a rain of knuckly flesh
to beat you into submission, into masculinity
the fortitude it takes to stand in front of all those years of bending flesh into something it was never meant to be and saying
i am here. i am present in this and i remain
like the earth
immovable.
you, always so insecure of your manhood you tried to force it into me
your derision, indecision
and from the baby afraid in the dark to the mother in the sun, burning
burning
burning
it isn't easy anymore to put out that light.
you never understood how happy it is to sit internally and wander
you never understood
the leering faces and laughing and pain! how awful it must be to be you
to think that anyone sans penis is sans worth
to feel that the other half of everything is nothing
how terrible to be unable to feel the whole spectrum of colorful emotion
and in your stunted growth
become accustomed to numbness
and unacquainted with the possibility of oneness
ultimately my threat to you is this, older brother
that I can still know joy and blood and love and steel in myself
i can feel my tides and hear my thunder
where all you have is death.
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